I feel stupid
“I hadn’t seen him for two or so days. Although I wasn’t worried for his safety at that time, it was almost scratching on the surface of my limit of not seeing him. After waiting for hours, it didn’t seem like he was going to come on and for frustration’s sake, I clicked, sent a message… only to realize that he was online, just very stealth. I got mad instantly, accused him of not wanting to talk to me and burned a hole in my pillow seething in bed.”
Later, I found out that he had just been asleep.
This happened several days ago. I feel like a total fool. In fact, I feel so stupid that I haven’t since been able to shake off the thought of just how moronic I was. Even though about an hour or two after I had allowed myself to jump to such a stupid conclusion and had sent that idiotic message, he came online and mentioned that duties of the job and sleep had taken him away from being able to talk to me.
Duties. Sleep. No internet connection.
How dumb I was to not think of that first! Those have always been the first logical things I would rationalize whenever he doesn’t make an appearance for our nightly chat. Even though I apologized for accusing him, I just can’t fathom how… what’s wrong with me?
How did I let my imagination run wild like that? I think if I was him, I’d be insulted at such an accusation. I hope he isn’t insulted. How could I, for a moment, think that after almost five years together, after overcoming all the long distance relationship obstacles, after getting engaged, after starting to plan the wedding accuse him of such a thing?
It’s not as if I had trust issues regarding him or anything. I don’t know what happened and quite frankly, I’m a little freaked out at how I had freaked out. I’ve always prided myself for always staying reasonable and logical when dealing with things. I just don’t want to end up as one of those couples who,when during hard times or even stress, starts to shout all kinds of nonsense at each other.
I know you’ll read this and even though I’ve already said it to you, I’m sorry. :-*
Easier learned than applied
I had the worst food poisoning in my life several days ago. I wasn’t given a sick leave by the company’s doctor and though my boss graciously relieved me of one class, I had to stay on for 13 hours at work and teach three classes. I puked before breakfast. I couldn’t eat a single thing except drink =bleep= nasty epsom salts. My stomach churned and felt as though I was being continuously punched throughout the day and let’s not go into the nasty details about my marathons to the toilet.
When I think about my unfortunate luck, a thought comes in mind… one that has been visiting a lot since I started my work life. Where does office ethics come into all this? Back in university, I took a work ethics course (one now I’m very glad I had taken!) and I had learned that if one falls sick, one should not play the hero and come to the office and infect everybody. One should just go home, get some rest and come back rather than stay back and produce subpar work.
Should I have been given a sick leave? Perhaps. Should my boss—knowing that I suffering from bad food poisoning—sent me home anyway? Perhaps. Yet, however steadfast a view I have about being sick and having sick leave to rest it off, I found myself wanting to not go home. I found myself convincing myself that I can’t go home because it was a long work day and too many people depended on me being at work. But then again, I was also =bleeping= shitting my brains out.
So what code of office ethics have I broken? Which have they broken?
I find it difficult to apply most of what I’ve learned in that ethics class in university. More often than not, I find it frustrating that I can’t apply it now that I’m finally in the workforce. Anyone care to share similar experiences?
We’re planning our wedding!
It’s been a long time coming and one might even feel it’s very overdue but at long last it has got its gears moving; we’re finally planning our wedding. When we got engaged in 2008 we both knew there would be a substantial amount of waiting involved… and after a year, we were still waiting.
But not anymore. We had a serious talk about the important stuff and in the end, I guess we could see no reason why we should still be waiting. Sure, there are some aspects which we have no choice but to wait largely due to uncertainty but there wasn’t really a justifiable reason not to start planning at the very least.
So that being said, I went ahead and made checklists. It’s a simple start, but a start nonetheless. Within a weekend, the list grew longer and longer… though anyone with any planning experience will understand that. I started out with what I thought would be the most important; the wedding and reception venues, the rings, photography, potential guest list and the mental appointment of people for various posts. 
Don’t even bring up the dress because I’m looking forward to that the least.
It’s baby steps but so far I’ve managed to arrange for Phil and I to meet with a representative at KL Hilton to see what options they could offer us if we chose to hold the reception there. I’m hoping it will be a fruitful one as I’ve got my heart set on that place. Hehe!
Also, I managed to meet up with a freelance wedding photo/videographer of whom I got a good feeling about. His portfolio showed impressive work, but again, I’ve arranged for Phil and I to have another meeting next month to see if he likes the guy’s work enough to consider.
The most exciting part was when I went searching for our wedding rings. I found two places in Pavilion (Tiffany & Co., The Carat Club) which had really beautiful rings for the both of us. There were two men’s rings which caught my eye but I’ll have to take him there to see if he likes it before I buy it for him. Oh, and of course, to see if Phil shares the same sentiment as when I slipped on this gorgeous full eternity wedding band from Tiffany & Co.’s Legacy range. Oooooooh! I must have tried on like 10 rings from these two places and only that particular ring felt amazing on my finger. Drool.
All the planning, as I’ve decided, though surely stressful is starting out on a fun note! Being a totally anal planner like myself, planning is in my blood even if I do ache over details needlessly.
The biggest pain however, lies within the limitations of the set budget. Though I have somewhat of a large budget to work with, I can’t help but feel the original limitation I had self-imposed would soon be cracked as the all the other details start to add up as we go along with the planning. I don’t want to touch the capping amount or even go near it because, well, I just don’t think I’d want Phil to spend that much even if the budget was set as so.
That said, trimming my side of the smallish sized guest list can be painful. 
I’m going to watch KoC live!!
tickets tickets tickets!
Ohhh it is indeed a happy day whenever I find out a favorite music act of mine is coming down to Malaysia to perform live! It is an even happier day when that music act is not a mainstream one because they are willing to come all the way here to perform for us handful of loyal fans! 
That being said, Kings of Convenience is coming!
Although the concert is only in March, the tickets went on sale yesterday and as soon as the paycheck was in, off I went to buy them! They weren’t really cheap, but to go watch an awesome duo as them, it feels certainly worth it.
Also, the best part about this concert is the company I’m going to have; my sister and her boyfriend, my cousin and her boyfriend…and me and my fiancé! Yep, you heard that right! He will be on break from duty in Afghanistan and oooh, I just can’t wait. (insert super big smiley)
If you like mellowy songs, then Kings of Convenience is for you. I have been a fan for several years and never tire of listening to their songs. If you’d like to check them out, below are some links to two new songs of theirs and another couple of my personal favorites. Enjoy!
Personal favorites:
New songs:
All Ye Yabbers!